When the music stops and the dishes start

There’s a reason why there are so many songs dedicated to falling in love. The all-night conversations, the starry-eyed giggles, and the boxspring-busting passion characteristic of a new relationship are a pinnacle of the human experience. However, there are notably fewer songs written about the exasperating debate of how to best load a dishwasher that occurs in a maturing relationship.

As a relationship ages, problems inevitably accumulate. Suddenly, the dishwasher argument isn’t about plateware anymore. It’s about how your partner “never” listens or “always” criticizes. Even when you’re discussing the real issues, it feels like you’re talking past one another. While your boxspring may no longer be under threat, you feel increasingly alone and misunderstood as you lie awake at night. 

It’s not you vs. your partner. It’s you + your partner vs. the problem. 

As a couples therapist, I’m not a referee. I don’t take sides, decide winners, or call foul play. Rather, my role is that of an interpreter. I help translate the subtext beneath the disagreements to cultivate deeper understanding and effective communication - so that you can shift from reactive conflict or silent disconnect to a coordinated team effort. 

We’ll explore your relationship on two fronts:

• Philosophical Investigation (The “Why”): We’ll take a high-level perspective to understand your individual thoughts and experiences. We’ll identify the overarching trends, existential values, and shared goals within your partnership to determine what’s working and what requires change. 

• The Functional Tools (The “How”): We’ll develop daily strategies for de-escalating conflict, communicating needs, and assisting you both in feeling seen and loved. We’ll focus on practical mechanics like how to repair after a fight, how to connect in everyday ways, and how to have fun together again.

The intention of couples therapy isn’t to force an outcome but for you to gain the clarity and agency to determine a future that’s healthy and sustainable. The dishes can wait. Fill out the form below, email me at sue@suebedfordpyschotherapy.com or click here to book a session.